No. 1 "EXCELLENT STUDENT" Natalia 27 In the first grade, I was sick a lot and therefore almost did not go to school until the New Year. During these half a year, I have fallen far behind my classmates and got used to being at the end of the echelon of academic performance. But what was my surprise when at the end of the year there were only A’s in my grades for all quarters and the year! No, not like that... SOME FIVES! This taste of victory, the smell of recognition, the stroking of vanity, I don’t know what to call it correctly - remained with me for the rest of my life! It’s like a drug that, after trying it once, you want to get more and more. I think my first teacher did it on purpose, knowing about the psychological effect of the name whatever. Now it’s important for me to be an excellent student in life. My excellent student syndrome today has, as usual, two sides. The good news is that I can achieve a lot and have already achieved it. The bad news is that I want everyone around me to like it and earn approval. I hope, having overcome the second, I will not lose the first.

No. 2 "BAD CHILD" Diana 26 With the alcoholism of my parents, and the formation of my own personality, I began to be tormented and tormented by thoughts: maybe you are a bad child?... Everything was fine. Why did this happen to you? Your parents were initially on a pedestal, were a kind of support, authority. And now you’re powerless, helpless. You don’t know your rights or your capabilities. Over the next ten years, I constantly look back, thinking about when it was worth leaving them in time, when it was worth telling them enough is enough. Over these ten years, I have had so many emotions, ... And hatred, and despair, indifference, and forgiveness. But when I became a mother myself, I had a complete renunciation of them. Because it doesn’t fit in my head how much you can be so reckless to do this to your own children? To leave such a deep wound on them, such a seal.

No. 3 "And WHAT WILL MOM SAY?" Ekaterina 26 A find stored in the "children’s suitcase of emotions" - I was brought up quite strictly. This is both a strict restriction on unconditional obedience, and a constant expectation of permission to commit any actions. In adult life, this is very disturbing, because I have not lived with my parents for 10 years, but the question "what will mom say, will she approve?" haunts me in almost all my actions. I can’t cope with this on my own, I work with a psychologist. In general, I can’t say that I had a bad childhood, but there is still a struggle for freedom of thought in adulthood.

No. 6 "DO NOTHING" Anastasia 26 Now, digging into the pile of my adult psychological problems, I understand that most of them are somehow connected with my childhood attempts to create something unusual and beautiful. Every time it seemed to me that I had come up with something incredible, this “incredible” was shattered into pieces about something like: “well, what is it? This is not normal, so NO ONE DOES ” or “THIS is not intended for THIS, take IT, you need to do it properly.” Only here’s where and by whom I categorically did not understand then and do not understand now. Gradually, I formed clear attitudes: what I invent or do is abnormal and wrong Over time, all this has grown into a big lump of complexes that relate not only to creativity, but also to life in general. No matter how funny, wild or strange it may be, people need to convince me by giving all possible arguments that what I’m doing is beautiful/normal/right. Despite a clear understanding of the existence of problems, where they came from and that it is impossible to live like this, it is impossible to cope with them. But I ’m trying. I am slowly learning to defend my opinion and listen to my desires and solve problems without outside help.

No. 4 "COMMON SPACE" Maria 56 There are children and parents in the same room. Childhood spent in close quarters and crowding. There are a lot of people in one room, where at night you can hear everything that happens in the next corner where parents sleep and where it is not possible to find a space closed from everyone, with the opportunity to hide and be alone. An image from "Good Night Kids" appears before my eyes, where a girl with a plasticine crib, a cozy table with a warm lamp. This image is a dream, to have your own corner in childhood.

No. 5 "STOLEN CHILDHOOD" Vera 83 I wasn’t even five when the war started. It was just 4 and a half. There was terrible poverty. War. Devastation. Hunger. Malnutrition. I am accused of being stingy. And give me a billion, and I’ll still look for where to fix, patch up, where to save. The family saved, and grew up. They gave food by cards. There were no dolls or toys. Everything was valuable. Life was expensive. There was survival and becoming. This need still weighs on me. At least scold me or not, life brought me up like that, forced me. Every thing I take care of is a value. Throwing it away is blasphemy. They were naked, barefoot, hungry. Now at least the younger generation would not know and did not feel all that. The war stole childhood.

No. 7 "BURIED EMOTIONS" Sergey is 27 years old. We all come from childhood. Each of us has our own baggage, which we carry or roll with us throughout our lives. I was raised by my mother, my father left the family before I went to the first grade. It’s important to know, my mother is a teacher. I was able to win the excellent student complex. Thanks to my mom, I tried myself in many things, I am really grateful to her, but there is one thing that is still with me: "what will people think/say". I am polite and outwardly calm because my mother was judged by me at school, or so it seemed to me. But the emotions buried in me are still a heavy burden in me and the fear of trying something reckless or openly hooligan. They are like an invisible but tangible reproach of the observer: what will people say?

No. 8 "BEING AN ADULT" Vasilisa is 26 years old Many girls in childhood dream of a kind prince, beautiful toys, big bows and bright outfits. And I’m no exception.We will talk about the last two things.It just so happened that in my childhood there were no beautiful outfits, lush dresses and those same bows.And so I wanted to... Especially at matinees, when someone in kindergarten came in a princess dress, and you didn’t have that.I wasn’t a spoiled child, so I never talked about it out loud.Many years have passed. I started earning by myself and buying myself the things I want.Some of them were too bright and extravagant, for which I received reproaches from my mother every time before leaving the house ... But in these outfits I was myself.Especially in terms of clothes, I was able to relax on the sea, where I went alone. Reproaches and condemnations, unfortunately, did not leave me after many years. Now I am married, and my husband continues the traditions of my mother. This happens even in relation to two ponytails or pigtails ... "They say, such an adult should look, comb her hair and dress like an adult.. " And this is all of me... I, of course, have subdued my preferences, but somewhere deep in my soul right now I want to put on a bright fluffy dress with bows or cherries, braid two spikelets and run on business in a good mood, because on these very things someone will not make up a girl they only want to see in a certain way, and I’m REAL...